High Pressure

This week has been a harrowing whirlpool of worries and obligations. My first week back at work after a few days vacation is always high stress. I steel myself for the pressure and pace of trying to catch up and untangle the knots that inevitably occur in my absence. Nothing attracts a complicated problem or a string of phone messages and e-mails like stepping away from your desk for a while.

At the start of this first week back, I experienced a car accident that left me without a vehicle, scrambling to arrange transportation, to report the accident to the state and make the insurance claim. There have been calls to and from several insurance offices and the body shop, appointments rescheduled, and all of the other accident fallout.

Concurrently, there were worries over my mother-in-law's heart surgery, my husband's health problems that required two doctor visits in one week, and impending computer "upgrades" at work that promised to be increasingly complicated with each new release of information.

I found myself thoroughly removing potential allergens from our bedroom, washing every blanket and sheet we own, and comforting our dog who had no understanding of why she was now exiled from the haven of our room. I played go-between to alert a friend to potential employment at my husband's company and get him the application he needed to fill in as soon as possible. There were taxes to do at the last minute. My husband and I squeezed in another session of babysitting after a full workday. And, this morning, I rescued a bee from the laundry sink.

My days have been a blur of early mornings and late nights, of train rides and deadlines. I couldn't have asked for better practice at defusing a mental breakdown. The week has been a balancing act between concern and letting go. You still have to get things done. You can't help feeling the anxiety, but you can't let it eat you alive.

Writing always helps me deal with stress; so despite the lack of free time, I wrote the short piece you will see in my next post. It may be less disciplined than usual, but it felt good to write.

In the end (though we haven't really come to an end on most of it,) things have come out OK. My husband and his mother are feeling better, my friend is on his way to employment, and my brother-in-law and his wife enjoyed some grown-up time while we watched the kids. I made it to work each day, and with the help of my diligent coworkers, nearly caught up from the time off.

The accident lost me the car I had become attached to, but nobody was hurt. With the insurance settlement, I'll have a new vehicle to become acquainted with. Meanwhile, walking to and from the train has been built-in stress relief.

The bee is happily buzzing outside, and our dog is starting to adjust to her new sleeping arrangements. The week has left me exhausted, but I feel better for having endured it.