Joy Ride

Think back to when you started learning to drive a car. You haven't learned that skill? Or maybe you're looking forward to that day, but are too young to start? It's no matter. I, myself, didn't learn to drive until my late 20s, much later than usual for those in my area. I only picked this metaphor because it's a common experience for most Americans.

And, yes, of course it's a metaphor. Did you think this would be any different? There's a lot to learn about life by looking at how we approach other skills. What I say here can apply to nearly any skill; so if you can't relate to learning to drive, you can think of the early days of a skill you practice and read on.

As eager as you may be at first, you are also nervous. You find there's so much more to driving than you previously thought, and you worry over every little thing. You struggle to remember all the steps. Discouragement follows every mistake, and there is a dark cloud of possible dire consequences for those mistakes that looms over the whole enterprise.

When you take to the road, you find yourself hitting the gas and brake pedals alternately. Unfamiliar with the controls, your motion is halting and choppy. It's easy to panic and overcorrect for your mistakes. Frustration and anxiety are the backdrop for those early driving experiences.

Still, we see the cars speeding past us, their drivers comfortable behind the wheel. Those happy, proficient drivers seem to know a secret inaccessible to the novice. The truth is that they began as everyone else, nervous and frustrated, fumbling and forgetful. The good driver has made his share of mistakes. Only time and familiarity have lifted the anxiety, and that goes a long way toward improving his skill.

An experienced driver doesn't worry over every minor change in the road. He doesn't try to consciously control the vehicle at every moment. Rather, he looks forward down the road and keeps himself aimed at that point, knowing that small changes are inconsequential in light of the goal. Although the student driver is preoccupied with his current piece of the road, the proficient driver knows where he is going and allows himself to relax. The best drivers find the balancing point between awareness and relaxation, the unfocused focus that wise men have advocated for centuries.

As you move forward along your path to joining those comfortable driving experts, you learn that worry doesn't get you where you want to go any quicker. It doesn't keep you from taking a wrong turn, and it doesn't make it any easier to cope with the mistakes you make. Gradually, your skill improves as you let go of the anxiety, ease your grip on the wheel, allow yourself to listen to the radio or view the scenery beside the road.

I would never tell you that the little things don't matter, in driving or in life. Paying attention is still necessary. Become overly comfortable or arrogant in your abilities and you're likely to miss something important, to swerve or crash. All states, though timeless in their way, are temporary. Even good drivers make mistakes and must rebalance themselves.

What I suggest in practicing any skill (or in living your life) is to cultivate awareness rather than anxiety. Breathe and smile. Let the road take you where it will. Adjust to the changes but don't agonize over them. Driving may be serious business, but you can still let a little joy into the experience.

Most of us are not perfect drivers of our lives. The best we can hope for are moments when we reach that ideal balance and drive smoothly between the rough patches and mistakes. But with a sense of calm and awareness of our environment, we adjust, correct and move on. With time and experience, even on the roughest roads, life can truly be a joy ride.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Felt

Significance of Numbers

The Magic of Things