Bookmarks

You see a lot of bookmarks when you work in a library.  For one thing, they're a particularly useful tool for advertising upcoming classes and events.  Each one is like a mini flyer, easily tucked into books or displayed temptingly for the taking.  It's kind of a natural fit because, for all the wonderful things a library offers these days, people do still come looking for books.  And, despite the urge to finish some books in a single sitting, most of us just don't have that kind of time all in one block.  In today's busy world, bookmarks are a necessity.

In addition to the ones programming librarians create to promote their offerings, library workers also get to see a lot of bookmarks accidentally left in the returns.  These can range from manufactured types, lovely things purchased or received as gifts, to homemade crafts, to some creative substitutes.  Anything handy becomes a bookmark when you've suddenly realized you were lost in another world and didn't notice the time ticking away.  Every one of these impromptu place holders tells a little bit of a story- the  playing card, the cocktail napkin, the tea bag wrapper or parking slip, or perhaps the most ominous- the delicate square of thankfully unused toilet tissue.  People put all kinds of things in their books.  Many times, I've done extensive detective work to trace the owner of a more important or personal bookmark, returning family photos, money, bills, or greeting cards.  Many times, I've run out to the shelves to check for some treasured memento a worried telephone voice confessed they had left in a library book.

For my own part, pulling the bookmark is the last step before returning a book I haven't finished, and it always feels like a failure.  It's the final admission that I've bitten off more than I can chew, or in some cases, that I've made a poor choice and what sounded like the perfect story for me just hasn't been able to engage.  Some books don't click for everyone.  There have been a few I wasn't able to force myself through, but most often when I give up on a library book, the reason is simply lack of time.  Contrary to popular opinion, you don't get to read all day when you're working in the library.   I may be completely entralled by the story, loving the writing, eager to learn what happens next, but in a phase when there's a lot of stuff going on in my life, "me-time" gets put on the back burner.

I suppose I could read faster, take a speed reading course or skim to the action, but as a writer and as a lover of story, that idea appalls me.  Every word of that tale is there for a reason, meant to be savoured and absorbed to know the full richness of the story.  You don't bolt a gourmet meal.  If you do, you've missed the point.  So, the bookmark is necessary.  In fact, many bookmarks may be necessary, as nobody ever said you have to read your books one at a time.  Sometimes, you'll end up pulling a bookmark and writing down your page number for the next time you're able to check out that book.  And even that is a bookmark of sorts.

I even put bookmarks in other activities, creating a deliberate pause with the intention of coming back.  They're not as colourful as a bright slip of paper.  You can't see them, but they serve the same purpose.  I put one project aside while I focus on another.  I put that new project on hold when something else comes up.  I always intend to come back, sometimes very quickly.  In those cases, I imagine my bookmark to be the ultimate impromptu marker- the finger.  I'm holding my page as I would in a choose-your-own-adventure when I strongly suspect my choice spells imminent doom.  Fingers, by the way, are rarely left in returned library books.

There may be some guilt, and certainly some regret in placing those bookmarks in your life.  It might be nice to have all the time you need to do one thing from start to finish, and to have all the energy required.  It's not very realistic, though, and like skimming that novel, it does no respect to the task.  It's important to slow down and read your life thoroughly.  Get all that you can from it.  Do what you do as well as you can, even if you have to tuck a bookmark in it a few times before it's done, even if you run out of time before the book is due.  The most vasluable part is the reading, not the finishing.